New Roommates
by Bubbles52
Summary: What happenes when four girls, one guy, and a vamp live under the glass house roof? Rated M for later chapters.
1. A normal day at the Glass House

Hello From a friends computer this is not a story just a dialog between friends so have fun reading.

Eve: Michael you asshole that was my best pair of panties.

Michael: not my fault, we vamps are to strong

(coming out of Eve's room)

Britt: Obviously not strong in some places, *to bubble*like in bed.

Roommates: *Hysterics*

Bubbles: Shane why are you laughing I hear you in Claire's room.

Shane: What, You a pepping tom now.

Bubbles: wouldn't you like to know.

Claire: Hey! It's not her fault. I tell the girls everything.

Eve: Yeah, Shane, I love the fact that you ---

Shane: Stop! Claire, what the hell have you been telling them?

Claire: I told you, everything *the picture of innocence*

Shane: Everything, everything?

All girls: Everything, everything.

Michael: (to Eve) You don't talk about us do you?

Britt: We're house mates and best friends. What do you expect?

(guys go to vampire room to sulk)

Bubbles: Wow. These guys are babies. One little secret and they go sulk.

Eve: You know it's more than one secret. *wiggles eyebrows*

Britt: We know that, but they don't. *smiles wickedly*


	2. Girls Night GV

**Note to selves we, the people do not own anything but this fic.**

**Enjoy from the bedroom.**

**_Girls Night_**

(Girls view)

**Eve:** Bye guys, have fun at the bar. No picking up stripers.

**Shane:** Oh, come on. Where's the fun in that.

**Claire:** I'd be happy to fill that position for you *wiggles eyebrows*.

**Bubbles:** Nu-ah. It's Girls Night, where we play Truth or Dare and share our deepest, darkest secrets.

**Britt:** So, if you have a penis, LEAVE!

**Michael:** We're going, we're going.

(Guys leave)

**Eve:** So, what do you guys want to do first?

**Claire:** I know! Let's play operation!

**Bubbles:** You wana play doctor!?

**Claire:** Yeah!

**Eve:** We have to wait for the pizza first.

**Britt:** You got the garlic bread, right?

**Eve:** I got the whole nine yards.

**Bubbles:** Perfect! *Grins wickedly*

(Ding dong)

**Claire:** YAY! I'll get it! (goes to door) Eve, come help me!

**Eve:** Coming! (to girls) let's see what we got. (Eve disappears to help Claire) OH MY GOD!!

**Britt and Bubbles:** What?!

**Eve:** (reappearing with Claire) Look who's here with pizza! (out steps Myrin)

**Myrin:** Good evening ladies, I relived your pizza man of his pizza, so this comes to you free of charge.

**Claire:** Oh goodie! Nothing's better than free pizza.

**Myrin:** But, my sweet Claire, nothing truly ever comes free.

(Girls stare in disbelief)

**Bubbles:** Myrin, aren't we a bit young for you?

(Myrin chuckles)

**Myrin:** No not that, not that at all. I wanted to present this, (pulls out HUGE sapphire) to Claire for never giving up on me.

**Claire:** Oh yay! Thank you so much, Myrin! (turns around so that Myrin can put necklace on her)

**Myrin:** (bends down to peck her on the cheek) (in a whisper) You do know the boys are sitting outside?

**Claire:** (in a whisper) No we didn't, thank you. (louder) Myrin, why don't you go upstairs before the guys figure out you were here. You know how jealous they can be.

**Myrin: **Sure Claire, I'll go right up and wait for you. (Myrin disappears upstairs)

**Bubbles:** It's Girls Night, Claire, can't you leave you affairs for tomorrow?!

**Claire:** Yeah, you're right. I'll just go tell Myrin to leave. (disappears upstairs) Oh, and set up operation.

**Britt:** Okay, who wants to go first?

**Eve:** I will (tries to get out a plastic piece) Damn, it won't go in *Growl*

**Bubbles:** here let me try *Grunting* Damn, it's to caked with crap. Claire, operation's a bust.

**Eve:** Yeah, he's just to old.

**Claire:** (reappearing looking a little shaken) That's okay. Eve, can you come with me a second?

**Eve:** Sure. (disappears with Claire upstairs)

**Britt:** What do you think is going on?

**Bubbles:** The only thing I know, is our Girls Night is so screwed.

(Claire and Eve return a bit shaken)

**Eve:** Hey, let's play Truth or Dare.

**Britt:** Alright. Jamie, Truth or Dare?

**Bubbles:** Duh, Dare.

**Britt:** Okay. I dare you to . . . call Oliver and ask if he's interested in being a stripper.

**Bubbles:** And what do I do when he comes to kill us all?

**Britt:** Scream . . . Run. Your choice.

**Claire:** Come on. Just do it!

**Bubbles:** Fine (picks up phone) Hello, this is the National Strippers Association and we were wondering if you would be interested in joining . . . (hanging up) Shit, we have, like, ten minutes before we all die. So, who shall I pick next . . . hmm . . . Claire, Truth or Dare?

**Claire:** Truth.

**Bubbles:** Okay . . . How much do you want to do Shane?

**Claire:** (blushing) More than words can express.

**Britt:** Oh, come on! We want more!

**Claire:** That secret's a bit deep and anyway, Eve and I have a confession to make. We're . . . We're . . . crap, I can't say it, Eve?

**Eve:** We're . . . uh . . . we're . . .

**Britt and Bubbles:** SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!

**Eve and Claire:** WE'RE PREGNANT!!!

**(Crash!!)**


	3. Girls Night BV

**Girl's Night**

(Boys view)

**Michael:** We're going, we're going.

(Boys walk out the door)

**Shane:** Hey Michael, let's sneak around back and listen.

**Michael:** I don't really think ---

**Shane:** Oh come on don't you want to know Eve's secrets?

**Michael:** Fine. (Goes to back window to listen)

**Bubbles:** You want to play doctor?!

**Claire:** Yeah!

**Michael:** Who are they playing doctor on?

**Shane:** Shhhh!

**Eve:** Pizza first. I got the whole nine yards.

**Bubbles:** Perfect *Grins wickedly*

**Shane:** What are the whole nine yards?

**Michael:** You got me.

**Eve:** OH MY GOD!!

**Britt and Bubbles:** WHAT?!

**Eve:** Look whose here!

**Michael:** What the hell is Myrin doing here?!

**Shane:** Shouldn't I be asking that. He** IS **putting that necklace on** MY **girlfriend. Why the hell is he kissing her?!

**Claire:** Myrin why don't you go upstairs.

**Myrin:** Sure, Claire, I'll go right up and wait for you.

**Bubbles:** It's girls night can't your . . . affair . . . tomorrow?

**Claire:** Alright I'll just go tell Myrin to set up operation.

**Shane:** WHAT?! Claire's having an affaire with Myrin?!

**Michael:** She has been spending a lot of time with him.

(Shane glares daggers) (girls open window unnoticed)

**Britt:** So who wants to go first?

**Eve:** I will. Damn it won't go in *Growl*

**Bubbles:** Here let me try. *Grunting* damn it's to caked with crap.

**Michael:** What the fuck are they doing?!

**Shane:** I think that's exactly what they're doing.

**Claire:** Eve could you come with me for a second?

**Eve:** Sure.

**Shane:** What's going on?

**Michael:** Don't know.

**Eve:** Hey, let's play Truth or Dare.

**Britt:** Alright. Jamie, Truth or Dare?

**Bubbles:** Duh, Dare.

**Britt:** Okay, I dare you to . . .

**Michael:** Oh this'll be good.

**Britt:** call Oliver and ask him if he is interested in being a stripper.

**Bubbles:** And what do I do when he comes to kill us all?

**Britt:** Scream . . . Run. You're choice.

(Shane and Michael burst out laughing)

**Shane:** Are they clinically insane?

**Michael:** Probably.

**Bubbles:** Shit. We have like ten minutes before we all die. So who shall I chose next . . . hmm . . . Claire, Truth or Dare?

**Claire:** Truth.

**Shane:** Oh, please ask something good.

**Bubbles:** How much do you want to do Shane?

(Shane is dumb founded) (Michael is laughing ass off)

**Claire:** (blushing) More than words can express.

(Michael laughs even harder) (Shane glares daggers)

**Claire:** Eve and I have a confession to make (all laughing gone paying close attention) We're . . . We're . . . Crap I can't say it. Eve?

**Eve:** We're . . . uh . . . We're . . .

**Britt and Bubbles:** SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!

**Claire and Eve:** WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!

(guys in shock and petrified) (guy's then burst into house looking into a mirror)

**Britt and Bubbles:** Caution: objects in mirror are stupider than they appear.

(all girls burst into hysterics) (guys confused)

**Michael and Shane:** WHAT THE HELL!?

**Bubbles:** What did I tell ya all dick . . .

**Britt:** . . . and no brain. (more laughter)

**Shane:** And I repeat, What the hell? (turns to Claire) Are you really pregnant?

**Claire:** Um . . . In order for me to be pregnant we'd have to do something that you'd know about . . . I hope.

**Michael:** (to Eve) Are you pregnant?

**Eve:** No, not yet. ( Michael backs off slightly)

**Shane:** (still confused) So wait how'd you know we were there?

**Bubbles:** Elementary my dear Watson: A, Claire knows you to well . . .

**Britt:** . . . and B, Myrin told us.

**Shane:** I'm going to kill that Bastard! And Claire are you having and affair with Myrin?

**Claire:** (laughing) Affair . . . with . . . Myrin . . . No. He's my boss and he was thanking me.

**Michael:** I still don't understand how did you guys get this all planned out?

**Eve and Claire:** Don't look at us.

**Eve:** They're the master minds.

(Britt and Bubbles look innocent as guys glare daggers)

**Bubbles:** What, we couldn't resist.

**Britt:** Yeah. You guys are just way to easy to fuck with.

**Bubbles:** No that's their job (points to Eve and Claire) Your method though is your chose. So what'll it be boys?

**Michael:** Bar?

**Shane:** Bar! (guys run out of house)

(Girls laughing)

**All:** BEST GIRLS NIGHT EVER!!!!


	4. Engagment

**Hey!! Everyone I know we haven't updated in forever but school started pluse about 80000000000 new books came out and I'm just plain lazy and haven't tiyped it before now but we've had it writen for about five don't hurt us. So We sould quit rambaling and let you read this story so without further...**

**Wait...**

**what they want to read the dame story bitch.**

**But we's don't own Morganville, or any other mentioned works done by others.**

**JC these kind people should be smart enough to know that it's FAN FICTION for a reason.**

**Oh BTW Britt changed name to JC.**

**Engagement**

**JC:** My God I'm board! There's nothing to do around here!!

**Bubbles:** There's always something to do *wiggles eyebrows*

**JC:** Yeah, If you're one of the lucky bitches in this house with a boyfriend

**Bubbles:** I didn't say we needed **our** boyfriends *grins mischievously pointing upstairs*

**JC:** Sister, I do believe that is a brilliant plan.

(girls than persist to go upstairs into Shane's room cackling and tie and gag him to the bed with nothing but boxers on)

(girls return downstairs to get some thing to eat after wrestling the big bulky Shane)

**Bubbles:** Damn, that's hungry work. What do you want?

**JC:** I don't know lets look in the pantry.

(girls fight in the pantry to find food and Claire walks in)

**Claire:** Have you seen Shane? He was supposed to meet me outside.

(Bubbles and JC cackle)

**Bubbles**: Last time I saw him he was a bit tied up.

**JC:** Yeah, you might want to go to his room and see if he's ready to play.

(JC and Bubbles chuckle as Claire walks off)

God there's nothing to eat! Isn't the Big Band Vamp supposed to keep the house stocked with food! (rustling from other room)

**Bubbles**: Shut up and Hide this might be good!

(Bubbles popes open the door and shoves the completely innocent JC into the dark space turning the pantry light off and cracking open the door slightly)

**Michel:** Hey Eve listen to this and tell me what you think.

(Michel play Broken Road by Rascal Flatts for Eve)

**JC:** Oh Gag!! Can there be anymore of a cliché?

**Bubbles:** I know but shut up! I want to hear this.

(Michel finishes song and looks at Eve hopefully)

**Michel:** So what do you think? (Giving Eve puppy dog eyes)

**Eve:**Oh Michel it's beautiful and I love it!! You are so sweet. (Gagging coming from both Bubbles and JC)

**Michel:** Really?! I'm so glad you think so. Eve I have some stuff I want to tell you.

**JC:** OH MY GOD!!! He is so not going to do this!!!

**Bubbles:** Do what?! Sorry that not all of us can predict the ending to a story so easily.

**JC:** Shut up! I want to hear this.

**Michel**: I've known you for years and I love you more than anything in this world.

**Bubbles:**Gack. (Mimes gagging) So sappy.

**JC:** Yeah But it's not everyday this happens to one of us (glances and looks and Eve) but you're right it** IS** sickening.

**Michel**: Eve I love you and I always will. You have lived with me and Shane for two years now and I'm so glad that you came.

**Eve**: Michel, I know you love me, I love you, too.

**Michel**: I'm so glad.

**JC**: God these two are slow. Just ask her already!

**Bubbles:** Yeah, seriously.

**Michel:** we've known each other since k-4, we grew up together and saw each other trough everything and everyone. I fell in love with you for the real you and even though I'm a vampire you still love me.

**JC and Bubbles:** (furious whisper) Get on with it!!

**Michel:** So Eve (bends down to one knee grabbing Eve's hand) Will you marry me?

(JC and Bubbles burst from the pantry)

**Bubbles and JC: CONGRADULATIONS!!**

**Michel:** What the hell?! (m clearly startled)

**JC:** Eve, we're So happy for you!

**Bubbles**: and Michel why the hell didn't you tell us you were going to ask her?!

**Michel:** (now furious) Why were you listening in on me purposing to my girlfriend?!

**Bubbles:** Because, sugar, we were board

**JC:** unless you were willing to entertain us. *wiggles eyebrows*

**Eve:** you **ARE NOT** hitting on my fiancée.

**Michel:** So that's a yes?! (happy as hell)

**Eve**: (softens) OF COURSE IT'S A YES!!

(Make out session starts)

(JC and Bubbles gag)

**Michel:** (breathy voice still kissing Eve) I can hear you

**Eve**: (same state as Michel) and I'll kill you.

**Bubbles**: No you won't you two are going straight upstairs to celebrate * grins deviously*

**JC:** yeah, you guys really want to spend the time killing us when you could be . . .

**Eve**: (mutters) Bitches (still hasn't stopped make-out session)

**Michel:** (mutters) Don't worry we'll take care of them later (starts to lead Eve through living room and up the stares never breaking ht kiss)

(Claire and Shane then descend the stairs Shane looking dreamy and slightly pissed and Claire slightly flushed and a little boasting)

**Shane:**(sees JC and Bubbles) I'm going to kill you two!!

**Bubbles:**Oh get in line!! Michel and Eve already want to kill us. * Winks to JC and Chuckles*

**Shane:** If you don't watch it you'll get your asses kicked out of this house (now losing steam). What did you to them anyways? (goes and sits down taking Claire with him)

**JC:** A) we won't get kicked out of the house, only two people hate us and

**Bubbles:**B) we listened in on Michel purposing to Eve.

**Claire:** (Jumping of Shane's lap) Eve and Michel are getting married?! (jumps up and down clapping) When did this happen and why wasn't I told immediately?!

**Shane:** Whoa Claire slow down. (looks at Claire warily)

**Bubbles:** Girl simmer down. We didn't tell you because it just happened.

**JC:** and **WE** weren't even supposed to know which is **WHY** they want to kill us.

**Shane:** you listened in on him proposing?! Wow, I'm surprise you not six feet under.

**JC:** yeah, well they were kinda preoccupied

**Bubbles:** *cough* understatement *cough*

**Claire:** Well, why don't the four of us leave the house to them?

**JC:** Can't, hot date in five minutes.

**Bubbles:** Study Session. I'll give you a rid.

**JC:** In Eve's car?

**Bubbles:** Duh *grabs Eve keys* like she'll even notice

**Shane:** Wait, did you just say you have a study session?

**Bubbles:** yeah, I need a jump in Anatomy *Grins Wickedly* we can't all be Claire smart.

**JC:**Bye guys; hope you find something to do* Chuckles (JC and Bubbles leave)

**Claire:** Alone, again *wiggles eyebrows*

**Shane:** you thinking what I'm thinking?

**Claire:** I did promise, didn't I? (**A/N read side story**) Race you up stair? (Shane half way up already) No fair! (Chuckles and runs up to catch Shane.)

* * *

**Shane: What side story? and should I be afaid?**

**JC: Um, Shane, Bubbles is wrighting this . . . remember she's the one that can make an inued out of the word sister, you do the math.**

**(Bubbles walks in) Hey sister whats up!**

**JC: Oh nothing just filling Shane in on the side story.**

**Bubbles: NO you shouldn't have now he'll run away when we try-**

**JC: SHUT UP!!! I didn't tell him that part!**

**Bubbles: Oh. (Turns to Shane) Shane you a vamp now you're really pale.**

**Shane: CLAIRE! I'm leaveing for a month!(Shane runs out the front door . . . in nothing but boxers)**

**JC: We souldn't**

**Bubbles; Yet we will (twins go lock front door Shane realizes his attire and then attempts to back in only to find the door is locked)**

**Shane; LET ME IN!!**

**Twins: Not by the hairs on our chiny chin chins. (Girls wave at Shane out the window)**

**(Twins turn to audiance) Review please. Maybe we'll let Shane back in. **

* * *


	5. Bachelor Party

HELLO PEOPLE OF FANFICTION! Here is the next chapter it's Michel's bachelor party and without further-

HEY, YOU DID IT AGAIN!

What?

We own nothing I know these people should know that but we still have to say it so no one can sue us.

Okay, we own nothing, happy?

Ecstatic!

Fine now can we move on?

No

What Now?

You forgot about Kandy, say Hi Kandy.

Hi peoples, read our story.

Now read before I turn fifty.

**Bachelor Party**

Shane: Michel, come on! Let me plan your bachelor party!

Michel: I already told you NO! I DON'T WANT A BACHELOR PARTY!

Shane: I don't care you need to have a party!

Michel: Shane leave me alone, I'm busy!

(Shane leaves to go plan his party)

Shane: (on phone) Yes, I'd like five strippers for a party Saturday. (mumbling on other end) Yes that would be great send them to The Glass House. Thank you! (phone ends)

(Claire comes up behind him) So what was that about strippers?

Shane: (he paled) Oh Claire, *uncomfortable laughter* would you believe I was ordering pizza?

Claire: No.

Shane: Fine. There for Michel's bachelor party. He won't admit he needs the excitement.

Claire: You, know you don't have to lie. I would have understood. In fact, since you lied to me, you have to let me plan this.

Shane: But Claire, this is a bachelor party! I can't let you!

Claire: (acting sexy) But Shane, I really want to. Please?

Shane: *Gulps* S-Sure. G-Go ahead. (he looks like a lost little puppy and Claire is taking complete advantage of that fact)

Claire: Thank you Shane! (Kisses him on the cheek then runs upstairs)

Shane: ON THE CHEEK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WAIT! !

(Claire is up stairs with Eve, JC, and Bubbles)

Claire: Okay so I got permission to plane Michel's bachelor party, so any ideas?

Eve: Well, what about the strippers?

Claire: Shane ordered five.

Bubbles: Cancel that order we can find better people *wiggles eyebrows*

JC: There are only four of us we need one more. . . . hmmmmm . . . . what about Kandy? That girl from high school.

Bubbles: Do you know who she works for?

JC: Yeah it's Oliver.

Claire: Since when does Oliver have stripers.

Bubbles: Ever since Eve left.

JC: Here I'll give them a call. (picks up phone) Hi, Oliver, I was looking for Kandy is she around? Hey, Kandy what's up. It's JC I was wondering if you needed a job this weekend. . . Cool I'll see you on Saturday, at the Glass House. (hangs up and then proceeds to call the company Shane called to cancel the order he placed) Yeah cancel the order for the Glass House. . . Thank you!

Eve: So, now that that's taken care of, what shall we do?

Bubbles: Well obviously we have to be the strippers.

JC: Duh, but they can't see us right away or they'll kill us

Bubbles: Well double duh, they have to see Kandy first!

Claire: OK Wait! Who's Kandy?

JC, Bubbles: A dorkames triplet.

Eve: Nice girls but what's her story. I need her cridentioals BEFORE she drools on my hot vamp

Bubbles: Well, I haven't seen her in like four years!

JC: I saw her about six months ago. She's dating A.S.S. I don't know why because he's the personification of his name.

Bubbles: She's dating him? Why?

Claire: What, his names ass?

JC: Yeah Aaron Samuel Stephen ass for short.

Eve: Why?

Bubbles: Because he is a total ass.

(The girls stop talking and finish planning the party)

Claire: Cool now that everything's ready we can go about our business until Saturday

(Saturday comes)

JC: Hey are you guys ready?

Every girl: Yeah

Claire: Eve and I went shopping for outfits (Claire pulls out a very revealing outfit) What do you think?

JC and Bubbles: LOVE IT! Did you get one for Kandy?

Eve: Absolutely.

(door bell)

JC: Speak of the Devil and she does appear.

(girls go to answer door and see Kandy)

JC: Hey Kandy

Kandy: Hey everyone! (gives hugs to everyone including Eve and Claire)

So where's the lucky guy?

Eve: He's sulking but that's alright we have a plot we need your help with.

Kandy: Of course

Claire: so here's the plan. You go in first so they don't see us. You slip this (pulls out small vile) into their drinks. All it is, is a slight confusion potion. They won't even now it. Then we come in, in our . . . less than subtle outfits. Which reminds me here's yours (Claire pulls out outfit). They'll realize it's us but not until after the drugs wear off will they be truly horrified.

Kandy: Will this potion be illegal? And I love the outfit it's gorgeous! Now I'm okay with the whole lets mess with the guys plan but why?

Bubbles: Well the potion isn't illegal. And we must mess with them on simple principle it's just more fun.

Kandy: Alright. I'll go change and then we can start this party.

(Party starts)

(Kandy instantly walks out to find Shane, Michel, and about a dozen other guys. She starts dancing around in front of all of them with everyone ogling her.)

Claire: I am so going to kill him for staring at her like that!

JC: Chill, Claire Bear, he's a guy it's what he does and as long as he's ogling she can easily slip that nice little potion into their drinks.

(Kandy starts dancing directly in front of Shane and Michel and very discreetly slips the small vile into both their drinks.)

Bubbles: It's show time.

(The rest of the girls walked out and started dancing with secret camcorders placed strategically around the room)

(Claire went up to Shane and started to give him a lap dance. Shane kept ogling and then started to touch Claire. She laughed a little and turned her face from the camra so Shane wouldn't be able to see her when they forced them to watch it and kissed him full and passionately on the lips.)

Michel: (laughing) Claire is so going to kill you if she finds out. (Eve leans over to do the exact same thing as Claire had to Shane.)

Shane: (laughing as well) and Eve is so going to kill you.

Michel: Then let's agree to not tell them.

(Bubbles and JC choose that moment to come out with the camera.)

JC and Bubbles: Smile guys; you're on camera.

(Eve and Claire disappear so that they can act hurt later.)

(The guys look horrified into the camera.)

Michel: You guys aren't going to show that to Eve and Claire are you?

(JC and Bubbles share a look.)

Bubbles: We won't

JC: If you let Kandy (Kandy comes over) move in.

Michel: Deal, now give me the camera.

JC: Never way too much power.

(For some odd reason the Bachelor party ended)

Claire: (to Shane) So how was the Bachelor party?

Shane: (Evasively) Fine.

Claire: Well I'm glad you had fun. And it's so nice of you guys to allow Kandy to move in.

Shane: (grumbling) Yeah whatever.

* * *

**REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE!**


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